As of today, the ‘Readers’ Post’ tag has been launched. In it, I’ll show you emails I’ve received from people who are also facing deafness. Anyone who wants to send in their story can rest assured that I won ‘t publish any names – everything will be done in the strictest confidence. 🙂
“Paula,
I’m overwhelmed, overwhelmed, overwhelmed!!!
You have no idea!
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now… Girl, I have a hearing loss too! I was diagnosed with a hearing problem when I was 10 years old, but it was only two years ago that things got worse and I ended up having to use hearing aids. I’m on my first and it’s horrible, isn’t it? I find it extremely difficult to deal with. According to my psychologist, I’m at the stage of mourning that I don’t want to go through. I want to pretend that it’s not me, that I can move on. And I’ve been trying every which way since 2008 when I discovered it. But because I haven’t let go of my feelings, I often have horrible relapses of not wanting to leave the house and of thinking that nobody likes me, these things that I believe are common in my – gee! – situation.
And I was in one of those relapses and when I saw this link on your blog and opened it to read, woman in heaven… I’m in tears here! I don’t know if it’s because I identify with you(I don’t know anyone with this problem and, in a way, I’m a bit afraid of meeting them too), because of the similar stories… The fact is that I had to write to you saying all this!
Even with all the good things in my life, it seems that the ear takes over for the most part, you know? It bothers me. I’m afraid of contact with people who have had these experiences because I’m afraid of the pain! Of crying. I don’t want to live like this. Bothering others with it. And I don’t want other people feeling sorry for me, I think you understand, right?
I want a normal life, but I can’t have a normal life without getting caught up in it. I want to stop thinking about what other people think of me. Well, I’m not the main character in people’s lives, am I? Why do they keep talking about me, comparing me to what I was? I can’t explain it! It’s very bad. I want to go out, have fun, talk to people the way I always have. But it always seems to pull me down. It makes me not want to go out, not want to talk to people… just stay at home. I want to let go, to cry. But I’m stuck. I don’t even cry to a psychologist. She says that’s what’s missing! But it’s difficult….
What has “saved” me, apart from my boyfriend, are blogs. Because I read and read and read, and I see makeup, cream, celebs‘ dresses… really! It makes me think I still have a chance, but at the same time it doesn’t identify me with anyone, just with someone I want to be and am not. And then the circle comes around again!
I really admire your idea of showing yourself like this! Anyway, congratulations on your work. Get in touch with me at the email address on the form! Let’s exchange experiences! Kisses dear! I admire you even more than I already did!”
The worst part of deafness, in my opinion, is dealing with the storm that rages in your head. The initial shock is so great that it’s more like receiving a death sentence. And it takes a long time to get tired of the Mexican drama and start living. That’s what I’ll talk about in the next post – just so I don’t tire you out, since this one is already huge!!! 🙂
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