It’s been very revealing to rewrite posts from ten years ago. I can compare my experiences back then, when I wore hearing aids, with now, living with two bionic ears. The contrast is fascinating.
As it was in 2010…
I love wearing my hearing aids. And I love taking them off. I need moments of silence. Listening is a delight, but it gets exhausting. Let me explain: when a person has normal hearing, their brain automatically filters out annoying background noise. When you have hearing loss, hearing aids amplify everything. Some sounds cause genuine distress—like a vacuum cleaner, a barking dog, a car alarm, or a door slamming.
Sometimes, after a stressful and tiring day, all I want is to get home and “switch off.” But when I do, I end up annoying the people around me. Even if you spend the whole day using technology to hear better, it feels like people don’t forgive you for wanting to just be yourself, even for a few hours.
It goes without saying that even those close to us often lack patience with people who have hearing loss.
Still, I am incredibly grateful for the option to HEAR. I look at these tiny devices and marvel at how miraculous they are. They pull me out of near-absolute silence and place me in a world full of sounds—sounds that people with normal hearing might ignore, but that bring me immense joy and tears of happiness.
Nothing compares to being alone in a room, opening the window, and suddenly recognizing a bird singing. Or driving on a rainy day and enjoying the symphony of raindrops hitting the car windows. Even the sound of fingers tapping on a wooden table can be pleasant—just like understanding what someone said without looking at their face. These are small victories. These are the sounds that technology brought back into my life after so many years.
But I also need silence. It gives me room to meditate. With absolutely no noise to distract me, my brain and soul can rest from this overwhelming world of new sounds. Sound and silence complement each other, and I need both. Far more sound than silence, of course. Today, silence helps me, but in homeopathic doses.
As it is in 2021…
Ten years ago, it never crossed my mind that I would be hearing everything, have a child, live in Rio, lose my mother, win a Facebook program, and open so many doors for people with hearing loss around the world.
Looking back at 2010 feels strange; it’s as if my fears and despair over my hearing loss have completely vanished. My relationship with my condition has changed. It doesn’t scare me anymore. Technology allowed me to overcome it beautifully, making my entire life much easier. It gave me peace of mind—something I hadn’t known before.
I still love having moments of silence
I use and abuse my OFF button, especially at work when I need to focus on writing or creating. Being able to disconnect completely and hear absolutely nothing when I want to is a true luxury. Many people with normal hearing have told me they envy this and wish they could do the same.
Every night, I sleep in absolute silence
I only break this routine when my husband travels and I need to hear my son if he calls for me. If you asked me what I hate most, having to sleep while hearing everything would be a strong candidate. I deeply value and revere silence when I sleep.
When Lucas was born, I had to sleep with my cochlear implants on at first. I spent many nights awake because every little sound would startle me.
When I wake up, I like to enjoy a bit of quiet. I usually only put my CIs on after going to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Only then does my day truly begin. The world is incredibly noisy, and people with normal hearing don’t even realize it. Silence can be deeply invigorating.
After a day packed with sounds and intense brain activity, I confess I look forward to laying my head on the pillow, switching off, and watching a Netflix series with subtitles. Silence no longer causes me anxiety because I know the sound is right there, just a click away.
Continue lendo nesta categoria
Chronicles of Deafness
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- Bullying and deafness: let’s talk about it?
- Banking services for the deaf
- Being deaf and meeting new people
- Speech therapist in a hurry…
- Auditory training…and a little help with music, please!!!
- About my deaf voice
- A meeting and lots of emotions!
- Starting at the end: the shame of deafness
- Reader contact
- Thanks
- Introducing Chronicles of Deafness